 replied
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Subject: r. lentworth, she did not refuse but
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talking of the immense caves of aastricht, how they stretch themselves out into deep passages and vast squares, in which sound is lost, and where the light, which cannot reach the nearest object, only glimmers like a point of fire. n order to comprehend this vacuity and this
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[it4448@friendsoftom.com]
to
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Subject: as though it was th on y thing that
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can speak to himsilf. e s a gr reat frind iv herlock olmes an if herlock olmes iver loses
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[t95@friendsoftom.com]
whirlwind
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Subject: an respondin to th frantic cheers iv
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hey was a doctor over in rance that discovered a kind iv a thing that if twas pumped into ye wud make ye live till people got so tired iv seein ye around they cud scream. e died th nex year iv premachure ol age. hey was another
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[dancin6330@friendsoftom.com]
How can you say this microphone looks like a dildo! [Dee]
"Well I turned out a winner, Sir, and you're just going to have to learn to deal with that." [Marc]
Ron Howard clarifies the difference between just an ordinary mustache and his _mustachio_. [TBSFAN]
After vanishing a quarter at a press conference Monday, Ron Howard adamantly refuses to answer the question of what's in his other hand. [TBSFAN]
For a pregnant woman, Jenn C shore wears revealing clothing. [Zaxxon]
I think it's funny that so many people just look at me, and all they say is: Hey, look it's Opie. I am not Opie. Do you understand? Opie is a character in a series. I am not *fucking* Opie. I am Ron *fucking* Howard, and Opie is dead. DEAD do you hear me? D-E--E-A-D, or however you spell it. [Sparky]
No sex, please, I'm married. Are stress, kids and work killing romance? J.K. Rowling on the "New" Harry. Back to Bakke. Newsweek June 30th, 2003. [Spanky Sparkle Butterfly]
I am a red headed male whore. Yes I am. [Ron]
It's called "Carry On Wayward Son" not "Carry On MY Wayward Son", you stupid fuck. [Ben London]
Taxidermy for idiots. [al]
The truth? The truth is that Apollo 13 would never have beaten Apollo Creed in a fair fight. But we pumped Creed so full of poison that he was dead before he threw the first punch.
Yeah, that's the truth, Lord.
--- Recently deceased "Movie Fight Promoter" Ron Howard answers for his life at the Pearly Gates. [justin]
RON
How can you say that Whos make better lovers than Grinches? I've had 'em both and that Grinch rocked my socks.
INQUISITOR
But Ron, that wasn't a real Grinch, that was Jim Carrey. And those "Whos" were midgets and children!
RON
Oh. Well then, I definitely would have to say that children are lousy lovers.
INTERROGATOR
Mr. Howard, is that "on the record."
RON
That's going on my (mutha-----) tombstone!
[justin back again!]
Moustach Camoflage Techniques-
No.3 The crap smear method. [ghast]
"the concept of a mermaid movie has always fasicnated me since i saw a mermaid when i was 8." [jared sales]
Tadpoles, the poor mans caviar.
-John Cooper Clarke [angum]
muffer, faffer, STOP FUNGUSING ME!!!!!!!
U ARE ALL FERDOSES!!!!
I AM TAKING MY PINEAPPLE AND LEAVING FOREVER!!!!!!!!! [dan]
"For those about to rock, I salute you." [Matt]
BAGDAD, JUNE 26. The colonial administrator announcing the 1-800-SEEN-HIM hotline for tips leading to the capture of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, was interrupted by an enraged Iraqi screaming "Allah curse your mustache!" [notnormal]
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My Libido
A deniaaaaaaal
[slice]
"It wasn't Laverne or Shirley, it was the Big Ragoo." [slice]
You know, this speach is going against congress so I would like to say on thing: I know where congress has its name!You see, its quite simple. PRO is the opposite of CON, which means PROgress is the opposite of CONgress! [stephen]
Man! This song sucks!!!!Why do they make me do this stuff?
Oh well. This world is evil (and so are my Co-workers) [i\'m not telling]
Ronny "O.P." Howard of Hollywood, during the Congressional committee hearings investigating far-reaching alleged child abuse in Mayberry during the 1960Õs, demonstrates how on occasion Goober would take hold of his hand, forcibly and against RonnyÕs wishes, place it, just so, on the warm buttocks of Aunt Bee. [slice]
Ronny "O.P." Howard of Hollywood, during the Congressional committee hearings investigating far-reaching alleged child abuse in Mayberry during the 1960Õs, demonstrates how on occasion Goober would take hold of his hand, forcibly and against RonnyÕs wishes, place it, just so, on the warm buttocks of Aunt Bee. [slice]
Look ho, when you be working dat track tonight ah want you to work dem tricks like they ain't evah been worked befoe. Its real simple. The microphone is the trick and ah'll be you.
First you get the trick all worked up like this mike, ya know what ah'm sayin'?
Den you open yo trap real wide lik dis, right? ... and the thumb, we all be knowin where dis thumbs goin'.
Cause dat's how we clock dat honey fo Big Daddy Ope Cunnie. [Vin Deisel]
"I'm vibrating my hand so quickly, you cant even see it.
Not this one out here--the one in my pants." [notnormal]
"Want to play Flinch? Come get some." [notnormal]
Hey wiseass.
You want the front of the hand or the back of the hand? [notnormal]
When asked to clarify his position on the New Jersey vs. Philadelphia debate, director Ron Howard stated, "Jersey rules, Philly drools." [one of many Matt\'s]
I ADDRESS YOU MY TOWN COUNCIL TO AFFIRM THAT SHE LOOKED 18 I ADDRESS YOU MY TOWN COUNCIL TO AFFIRM THAT SHE LOOKED 18 [Matt]
What? Me Worry? [Matt]
If you want to ride, you've got to ride the white pony. If you want to be rich, well, you know. [Hoarsey]
(in slideshow fashion) This is what I looked like before the...balding thing... [J-RO]
(assuming this is ron howard, see below) [Jeff Rojas]
Is my brother ugly or what?
You wouldn't be able to tell we were related if he wasn't an "actor". [Jeff Rojas]
No, I'm not a natural redhead. That's blood! [justin]
Is this mustache growing on my face or is my face growing on this moustache? [delmira]
If this microphone was plugged in I'd speak into it and many of you would be able to hear me. [justin]
Cmon, Randy NEWMAN? What was Breckman thinkin?! [Petey]
Ahem. I'm just gonna, um, sing a little song now.
"Have You Forgotten"
Darryl Worley
I hear people saying we don't need this war
I say there's some things worth fighting for
What about our freedom and this piece of ground
We didn't get to keep 'em by backing down
They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in
Before you start your preaching let me ask you this my friend
(BANG!)
*Cough* *cough* Tell--tell muffler--tell...muffler--
Ugh.
;-) [Petey]
Look, I'm sorry for that "gay bar" mush-ups line! I like them! I really do! [sabotage]
Look, I'm sorry for that "gay bar" mush-ups line! I like them! I really do! [sabotage]
That's enough slickers! It's not like it ever rains inside, anyways. [justin]
Ron Howard brings starpower to the NAMBLA convention. [nitsuj]
Today Ron Howard announced the eagerly anticipated follow-up to the Academy Award winning 'A Beautiful Mind' would be a film adaptation of Roland Gorchnik's 'The Real Life Fonzie's Guide to Real Life'. "It's time the truth was told," Howard said. [kilroy]
With my granite hand, I can smash the biggest rock.
With my icy blue eyes, I can freeze the hottest fire.
With my flaming red hair, I can melt the coldest iceberg.
With my booming voice, I can stop the mightiest winds.
But why can't I learn from my mistakes? [justin \"funny ideas\" mcgee]
For the love of God, this "Gay Bar" mush-ups war must stop, people! [A.P. Matt]
Oscar? Oscar the Grouch? Where've you been! The only reason I'm in this garbage can is because you said you'd be here at 11! It's almost 2:30 now, and I've been consumed by maggots!
Well? Say something, Oscar! Give me some "hint of an explanation."
Hello?!?
Oh, yes, you can't hear me, because I'm dead.
Foolish me, what a long eternity this will be, surrounded by spirit-deaf puppets.
[justin \"funny ideas\" mcgee]
Look! No hair here either! Yup, clean livin' is makin' me bald. I hate you, morality. [justin]
AGAIN,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,THE QUESTION AT HAND IS "WHAT WOULD HITLER DO?". [PAULIE SKI]
Again, I’m compelled to quote my mentor, Dr. Farrakhan: "Those things that lean toward the left are dirty and those that lean toward the right are clean."
Hence, I submit that "Splash" indeed leaned to the right, and "Ed TV" -- less so. [Rutherford B. Haves]
Again, I’m compelled to quote my mentor, Dr. Farrakhan: "Those things that lean toward the left are dirty and those that lean toward the right are clean."
Hence, I submit that "Splash" indeed leaned to the right, and "Ed TV" -- less so. [Rutherford B. Haves]
Above: Director Ron Howard defends future decision to wear baseball caps at all times. [andy]
the gorch told me that if i didn't grow it, he'd make me fight bosley with a chain. [jason]
"So I ask Potsie to smell my hand and he says to me 'Man...The Fonz is gonna be pissed, smells just like Suzi Quatro'" [Nick]
...then I slid the knife in. I turned it slightly so as to tear the wound at the corners a little, making it easier for me to slide my penis in the wound..."
Excerpt from Ron Howard's 1978 plea bargain confession for one of the three murders committed in Oklahoma and Texas.
[Dudes Prowl]
"If I didn't give my brother work in my films he'd have starved to death years ago" [Tom Althoff]
Moustache rides 5 cents. [matt]
So you see; if a move my hand like so...I can make it appear that the face is talking. [RobM]
So you see; if a move my hand like so...I can make it appear that the face is talking. [RobM]
Yes, Clint Howard is really like that. [TBSFAN]
...and that's how the Grinch stole Christmas. [TBSFAN]
...and that's how the Grinch stole Christmas. [TBSFAN]
Ever see that show "Monk?" Cause...yooou know...it's pretty genius, really.
Yeah, um, I don't have anything to say I just wanted my picture posted on FOT.
You know, that guy, Tom, he...uh...writes for Monk.
Thats the reason...that um....yup.
You could, um, take me away now, cause I don't have anything to say.
...
...
...
Anyone ever see Aqua Teens? Thats...thats a cool show.
I like the part when Meatwad talks about Clam Digger. Cause you know...yup.
How bout dat Conan? How bout dat?
Ok, I'm going, to um...leave now.
How bout those Cowboys?
You know...the bebop.
Cowboy Bebop.
...
...
...
I hate you.
[Petey]
I swear this mustache didn't come from doing nasty things to Aunt B. [Robby the bob dod]
Addressing a room of aspiring filmmakers, Ron Howard demonstrates the dos and don'ts of shaking hands with a Hollywood film executive. [TBSFAN]
Call me Opie or Richie, I don't care. All I have to say is, NO, I didn't see Hume involved with any aliens!!! [Carl Mead]
What the hell was i thinkingputting Tom hanks in Splash that guy is a hack [klaus]
Look, I thought my dad punished me enough for wiretapping them jailbirds. [secretjustin]
It's a pleasure to be here at the midget convention!
(Context clue below)
The tiny microphone stand! [justin]
I use this hand to do my graffito. [justin]
" ITS PETEY!!! HES FINALLY HERE!!! wow hes big! NO thats his dad..." [dan]
Carry on my wayward son...
The real Kid Kansas in action. [OT]
I was gettin' alot of people calling me "skull face" and "skeletor" and "bag-a-bones" and what not so I thought, "Ron, why not grow a moustache" 'cause you know, you don't see too many skulls with moustaches. [jerseyloverboy]
"Now, comments like that don't help anyone. It's people like you that make the world a bad place, a mean place, the kind of place I don't even want to live in anymore," he said while a Ninja massaged his crotch. [justin]
Hitting the "white horse" is my only motivation to get up in the morning anymore. [krakbaby]
Inside my face, inside my brain, it's a burning hell. [sammiches]
Dude! I also think Tom Scharpling is a funny radio show host! [Dude]
You must use his tiny asshole. Control it. Make him obey. [clothhand]
In solidarity with Don Mattingly and Tom Sellek, I have decided... [Gewee]
Why yes Mr. Scharpling, Monk was in fact my idea and I want it back! [OT]
Talk to the hand cause the face don't wanna hear it! [RobM]
Whether there was drinking going on or not, you simply cannot light people on fire and call that a joke. [RobM]
You want authentic? Well then call me Old El Paso. [jim cricket]
We live in a Michael Savage Nation. [Petey]
Ron Meower:Why can't you just respect that I like different music?! Reporter: Becuase you're music is horrible! You only like it becuase it's catchy. Ron Meower: I like some stuff on WFMU. Reporter: But you already admitted WRRV is a piece of crap! Ron Meower: Oohhhhh, will you stop bothering me!
--Based on a true Muffler Story-- [Petey]
I'm slowly trying to complete my themed collection
of "Wigger" bobbleheads, but the Warren Beatty one is going for upwards of $200 on Ebay. [Lacey]
(Damn, I mussed up that last one. Let's try it anew.)
If I don't move, the caterpillars might go back up my nose where they belong.
"The noises coming out of my mouth are called words" [justin]
(Damn, I mussed up that last one. Let's try it anew.)
"The noises coming out of my mouth are called words" [justin]
"There's nothing in my hand,"
he said.
"The noises coming out of my mouth are called words" [justin]
"There's nothing in my hand,"
he said.
"But I have a Munchichi in my mouth," he thought, and the idea made him feel warm inside.
http://www.toyolink.com/2879.gif [justin]
It's nice to meet you, Invisible Man, [justin]
I am not a member of the Communist Party, but I am a pimp. That's something you and your Committee on Un-American Activities can NEVER take away from me. [watchedtv]
Stop it, Grimace! I don't want any more fries! [justin]
I am not a member of the Communist Party, but I am a pimp. That's something you and your Committee on Un-American Activities can NEVER take away from me. [watchedtv]
Goddamnit. The free moustache promotion is over. [Jon Keay]
So on the one hand, I was like, "Geeze this directing movies biz is going pretty damn good."
But on the other, I was like, "What's good for Ron Jeremy is good for Ron Howard."
A few hours in surgery later, and I became the cocksman you see today. [Vin Deisel]
And my name isn't Opie darnit. [Harold]
Lay down your gauntlet. [Tom]
Look, my kid's mother likes it so let it go, huh. [Tom Meadows]
Look, it's the only way Marion Ross would get jiggy with me. [Tom Meadows]
Then me and my moustache slapped him silly. Stupid Anson. [Tom Meadows]
So I was like, well let's see you try and grow a moustache Anson. [Tom Meadows]
...and that's how I invented the "poopstache" [Brian]
We will never forget Tom Scharpling, nor the last time we saw him, this evening, as he prepared for his broadcast and waved good-bye and "slipped the surly bonds of earth" to "touch the face of God."
[care?]
but I gotta be me! [fiend]
My weakened immune system has made me unable to perform my role as Richie Cunningham. [Brian Malloy]
Gee! No! There is no truth to the rumor that Opie, Meathead and Laverne founded the Dead Screenwriters Society back in the '70s.
And to answer your second question, NO, I am not aspiring to look like Michael Stivik these days. Nor he the same with the crew cut.
No coincidence there pal. [KEvin]
O-ho the Wellth Fargo Wagon ith a-comin' now,
I don't know how I can ever wait to thee.
It could be thumpin' for thumone who is
No relation but it could be thump'n thpethyul
Just for me!
[not a teen so it don\'t matter]
TUE JUN, 17 11:15 PM ET
"Got Milk?" Ron Howard explains why he was choosen by the Wisconsin Dairy Council to be their spokesperson. (AP Photo/Tom Scharpling) [Sean]
Come on, enough with the Opie thing. My name's Ron. [farout crops]
I'm really mad with you people, especially you mister Scharpling. [ron howard]
"...and then he told me to open my mouth like this..." [Brian]
To be certain, this certain co-star didn't grab my ass on the set during the height of Happy Days, but they kind of like cupped it, like so... It was Mrs.C, I was so shocked. [willy]
To be certain, this certain co-star didn't grab my ass on the set during the height of Happy Days, but they kind of like cupped it, like so... It was Mrs.C, I was so shocked. [willy]
I'm not from Williamsburg. REALLY!!! [Maggie]
Hey Tom! I have a few things to say, the first thing is that your webcasts are a godsend for people like me (insomniac teenagers with time to kill). The second is that the song "Yatta" came from a smash-hit Japanese band called "Happatai." Actually, you can see the music video (which is INCREDIBLY disturbing in it's own funny way) here: http://www.mit.edu/people/patil/yatta.html . Don't ask me how I found that. Finally, I have my one attempt at making you laugh: A baby seal walks into a club. That's it. Thanks for your time, keep kicking out the good tunes!
Peace,
Nathaniel [Nathaniel In New York]
Quick, shoot it in my hand! [Chris]
I don't see how my relationship with Mr Rivera has anything at all to do with these indecency charges! [Rev E]
While distracting the UN with the "fart in his hand", William H. Macy decided it was finally the right time to eat his microphone.
[justin]
I don't see how my relationship with Mr Rivera has anything at all to do with these indecency charges! [Rev E]
"Someone help me!" thought the guy.
"I've become stuck, as if time is frozen." the man realized.
If he had been able, he would have frozen in panic.
He tried to look around, but his eyes were stuck in his skull, glued tight. As if he were a living soul trapped in a cold dead corpse.
'I know!" thought Ron Howard. "I'll use sexual magic to free me from this pox!"
So he tried to "make" on his seat but realized that the pipes were equally unusable.
"This is tragic" he thought. "I wonder how long it will take for me to go crazy! A week, a month? Yes, I will surely go mad, stuck as I am for all of eternity."
[justin]
I mean think of all the things I could do with a mullet. I could look like a rockstar. I could look how Jaromir Jagr used to look. And finally I could be the mascot for Tom's new band Rocky Hockey Hair. [Nick Cassaras (Mullet Man)]
Aw, come on, mom! I'm playing "press conference." Can you just keep dinner warm for me and I'll eat later. Please?? [J Zevin]
First they ripped off Fonzie with that Gorch character. I even convinced Garry it was just a big joke.
But then when they referenced my 8th grade gym teacher - Mr. DellaGlorflort*, well I was just plain creeped out.
(* TBSOWFMU, February 11, 2003) [gordy]
I am sad. And I want to make a big speech. But I'm tired. :-| Maybe you find music more comfortable as your communication source.
One, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!
I have friends. Dat drive Mercedes Benz.
Singin' big friends, big friends! <chigga chigga chigga> Singin' big friends, big friends!
Oo e ah! Lets sing it again!
Singin' big friends, big friends! <chigga chigga chigga> Singin' big friends, big friends!
Bling Bling!
*sniffles* I will remember that for the rest of my overly friendly life.
Well, uh, confidently, this has been a public service announcment. Please support the our sponsor by purchasing Suburbanal Cuts. Thank You. [Petey]
Meow. I speak in concise kitty terms, only discernible to the keen ears of the kitty...Most kitties have 9 lives...making them the dominant species of all mass media! Eventually, kitties will rule the world, and pay great gratitude to Jim Davis & George Herriman! MWAHAHHAH! I was gonna say,you know, I am a kitty. I am here to fufill my promotional purposes. [Petey]
uhhh... "where do I go to do the poops" - meatwad
[chris]
"Then I told him 'there's also this thing called the Force, and robots and crap.' Oh, and I told Lucas to hire Harrison too. And guess who was supposed to be Luke? Huh? Just guess." [pete]
"Then I told him 'there's also this thing called the Force, and robots and crap.' Oh, and I told Lucas to hire Harrison too. And guess who was supposed to be Luke? Huh? Just guess?" [pete]
Yes, the carpet matches the drapes, so what of it? [trent]
I was actually up for the part of "the fonz" but this is as close to a thumbs up as I can get, so Winkler got the nod. [jerseyloverboy]
I am not, nor have I ever been, the director of "Backdraft". [John Junk]
All I said was that EAT MY DUST was a far better film than THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS! [ultra 8]
All I said was that EAT MY DUST was a far better film than THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS! [ultra 8]
Little curly hairs on Coke cans aren't my style. I thought this groovin' 'stash would help. [Matt]
I Opie Cunnigham will admit that coolest thing I ever did was introduce The Clash on Saturday night Live [klaus kinski jr]
New American Idol judge Ron Howard praises a contestent's "really nifty effort," but adds that she is "a horse-faced banshee" whose boyfriend "will probably cheat on (her) after this." [J. Sizzler]
Sit on my hand, Potsie! [WADE]
Ron Howard shocked the world yesterday when he announced his return to the small screen with the new hit CBS sitcom "Everybody Loves Chachi" [Gregg]
Come on and try
Come on and try
Aunt Bea's homemade apple pie
Come on and try
Come on and try
Aunt Bea's homemade apple pie
It is yummy in the tummy
And will thank you a lot
Maybe if you're lucky
You can take home the pot
It's yummy in the tummy for me.
Come on and try
Come on and try
Aunt Bea's homemade apple pie
Come on and try
Come on and try
Aunt Bea's homemade apple pie
You can go right in the jail house and visit Andy and Barney.
If you'll just try
If you'll just try
Some of Aunt Bea's good old homemade apple pie. [Purple-Shirt]
I'm not saying i'm a genius. I just pork with torque. [J Cakes]
"I am not,nor have I ever been,the director of 'Backdraft'." [John Junk]
No, no it really is pronounced Hi-Lye. No! It isn't Jye - A - Lye. Ask anybody in Florida! [gordy]
"Talk to the hand!
OK, seriously: slap me five.
oh, oh, Denied!!" [notnormal]
"...and so I have found through hypnosis and recovered memory that my father the 'folksy' sherrif and Aunt Bea caused the wellspring of my sexual deviances. Bring out the gimp..." [listenerstan]
doing observational comedy: whats the deeeeal with airplane peanuts? you know what i mean? seriously people [michael kosofsky]
Yes your Honor, Chris::Toronto is a punk for banning Officer TOm. I agree that he is in the same class as Purple Shirt.
Yes, C::T will sing "I'm a Loser" by Beck. [Officer_Tom]
Yes your Honor, Chris::Toronto is a punk for banning Officer TOm. I agree that he is in the same class as Purple Shirt.
Yes, C::T will sing "I'm a Loser" by Beck. [Officer_Tom]
Just so everyone knows, Chris::Toronto has purposly banned me from the message board. C::T=PUNK!
OT [Officer_Tom]
On the inside, I'm just a frizzy haired teenager named Zoey Fitzgerald. [JP]
I calmly explained to Tom that all I told Petey was: "My life really changed when people stopped calling me Ronnie." [Sean]
"Well, that depends on what your definition of sex is." [sarah]
I told you, i DID NOT have any relations with ms. luwinski. [natalie]
"as a presidential candidate i think you should not judge me by the color of my tupe, but by the amount of corny 70s sitcoms i have been in. Thank you, and vote for richie, i mean ron!" [natalie]
Is that Ron Howard? [Ginny]
"If I've said it once, Senator, I've said it a hundred times. EAT MY DUST!" [B. Buster]
"and you, sir are no Ralph Malph." [fool]
"I got an invisible chinchilla right here callin you a liar." [notnormal]
Yes, your honor, I am Raad_Man. [YATS]
"I got an invisible chinchilla right here callin you a liar." [notnormal]
Can you hear me now? Hey toss me a cold one bud! [notnormal]
Your honour, It's spankin time!
How's about it!?! [mat]
Honest your honour! When G.B.said "Cock Fight" I didn't know he meant birds, not for me to whip it out. [m.monchinski]
"It's quite a simple procedure really, I kept the hair that fell out of my scalp and implanted it on to my face." [Dan Romero]
" Me and Aunt B shared a trailer and that was it" [Peter Pop]
"No, Senator, to the best of my knowledge, Floyd the Barber is not, nor has he ever been, a member of the Communist Party." [B. Buster]
Uh...oh... well... gee, how come I'm... uh.... so much more... uh... ar... artic... articulate... uh, you know what I mean... uh... when those writer guys tell me what to... uh... say. You know? [Norman]
Unaware that James Lipton has "punk'd" him, Ron Howard is wounded by a fan's critique that his work is "merely extraordinary," and not a "force that gives us meaning." [J. Sizzler]
..so I lay it on the bar , and she says "not even with someone elses twenty foot pole " [Heino]
Opie Griffith testifies about his father's involvement with the Mayberry Mafia. [Tom S.]
How many times do I have to tell you, "My name is not RICHIE!" [Anti-Kid Kansas]
I owe my career to one man, Roland Gorchnik. [Jason]
...for the last time, I didn't fart. And I don't appreciate you referring to it as: "Alright, who Backdrafted?" [Treats]
You Jerks keep comming at me like you've never had nasty thoughts about the maid or the meter reader. [Guff man]
For the last time, I did not fart. And I don't appreciate you referring to it as: "Alright, who Backdrafted?" [trent]
I'm under contract to work with Andy Breckman - my career is ruined!!! [Michael J.]
Well, it was all Potsie's idea in the first place, and then when we finished, he wouldn't even eat the cracker. [trent]
and then your honor, andy viloated my person by patting me on the behind like so... [trent]
For the last time, I did not fart. And I don't appreciate you referring to it as: "Alright, who Backdrafted?" [trent]
Hey, I'm not the one prancing around with an Avril Lavigne avatar. [Francis]
"how many times do i have to say it!? i'm not officer tom!why, just because i have this mustache!? i don't even know who that guy is!" [trent]
How could I have known she was a cop? [Chris]
So I sez to him I sez, look, you don't tell me how to direct, and I won't tell you how to act. [Devoidoid]
"I've never unleashed malignant
forces of darkness on anyone,and
I've never been to Untermeyer
Park! [Jeff Lee]
So the Doctor says, 'Wrecked him?... she nearly killed him', Mr. Congressman. [Matt]
But, Officer Tom, my wife gave it to me for as an anniversary present! [FactMan]
...honestly, i don't even know a "Gorch" [chris]
"Do you like my mustache? Guess what...it's not a mustache. It's really a monkey in disguise! Wow, I'm an idiot." [Kyle Thurman]
"I did it myyyyyy way." [Jenny]
I decline to answer on the grounds that my answer may tend to incriminate me. [Sean]
"I was just trying to explain why kissing arse is a BAD thing" [Angum]
When asked what keeps him going the director said, "I don't know, it's not like there's something stashed in my stash. See." Then to the delight of all he smacked his lips repeatedly like an American Indian to prove it. [Johnny Cakes]
Keep the drums forever! New format. You'll blow the O'Reilly factor off the charts if you go head to head. Interviews with Larry King with the drums... [Jimbo]
Please, keep it funny with your captions, kids! [gordy]
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