Author Topic: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua  (Read 21327 times)

buffcoat

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The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« on: February 24, 2008, 10:03:07 PM »
Tom’s Greatest Enemy, Ronald “Hot Rockin’ Ronny” Fuqua, was originally forced out of his slot on WFMU when Tom restarted his show in the early 2000s.  Fuqua has embarked on a fascinating journey through the wilds of American radio entertainment.

Fuqua called in many times from 2000 to 2005, especially during the WFMU marathon.  He has met up with several other Newbridge-related Best Show characters, including most prominently Roland Gorchnik and Maurice Kern.

WFMU, Jersey City, NJ – Hot Rockin’ Ronny plays New Classic Power Rock, featuring Triumph, REO Speedwagon, etc.  He claims that he was cheated out of his show by Tom Scharpling.  Scharpling denies this. Ronnie notes that he will soon have a show on 91.1 and 1/2, which will be next to WFMU (October 24, 2000 call; October 17, 2000)

Western Maine Message Board.   Ronny posts the following: “Ha ha! I got you all. It wasn't Bern Dorn. It was me Hot Rockin' Ronny getting hot rockin' revenge on all of you stupid WMers! Eat my lobster meat.” (December 16, 2000)

RM Radio, Stark, Florida – More New Classic Power Rock.  A new, much better band than FM or AM, RM eventually shuts down, and Ronny and all the other DJs never get paid. (December 19, 2000 call)

Silky Station, Philadelphia – Dr. Silk plays Silky Smooth, Luther Vandross-type music.  Ronny describes Philadelphia as the best city in the world. (January 16, 2001 call)

WUSA, Boise Idaho -  Ronny, as Sgt./Major/Captain John Q. America, plays America’s greatest marches.  He is the toast of the town in Boise, getting with all the ladies. (March 6, 2001 call; March 27, 2001 call)

Superchunk Tour Diary - Ronny is referenced in Superchunk drummer Jon Wurster’s online tour diary.  Wurster writes: “We're doing a taping for WFMU today for Terre T's show.  It will air May 10th at 3:00 pm.  I really love FMU but I wish they'd bring back that guy who had Scharpling's old slot --Hot Rockin' Ronny. He seemed to be a little more ‘with it.’”  (May 1, 2001)

KMMD, Omaha, NE -  As “Kid Midnight,” Ronny plays hits of the 40s and 50s and The Guess Who.  He allegedly breaks Glen Jones of WFMU’s record for most consecutive hours on the air.  This is thrown into doubt when a caller watching Ronny on The Shout! Network notes that there was a record skipping for 11 minutes.  This record is documented in the “Grimness Book of World Records.” (June 5, 2001 call; June 12, 2001 call)

KPRN, Houston, Texas - Ronny broadcasts to thousands of listeners over the Kern Pharmaceuticals Radio Network.  He is shafted by Maurice Kern. (August 7, 2001 call)

Ronny's Comin' Back Ronny claims that he is "comin' back" in a 10-second call. (December 11, 2001 call)

WCNT, Paymer’s Creek, GA - Ronny is known as Ron-Bob Ford, as the locals would not understand a name like Fuqua.  Ronny plays bargain bin country music he buys during forays to the record stores in Macon, the closest city.  Ronny and the Gorch steal the locals’ tractors, repaint them and sell them back to their owners. (January 8, 2002 call)

WCOL-FM, West Hoover, Maine - As “Joe College,” Ronny plays all college fight songs. (March 5, 2002)

Ameribel Radio, an island off the coast of Georgia - As “Major Damage,” Ronny broadcasts exclusively to American Air Force officers in Belgium.  He successfully steals Dave, Tom Scharpling’s call screener. (August 27, 2002 call)

WDLT, Duluth, MN -  Ronny gives out stickers to people entering the Civic Center.  He has recently been fired his job as “High Plains Harry” on the Early Early Show which runs from 3-6 AM in Fargo, ND.  Ronny was renting a house in Fargo from a rancher and “did something to his wife he didn’t like.”  Tom: “What?”  HRR: “I banged her.”  The rancher was friends with the station manager and got Ronny fired. (March 9, 2004 call)

Jail and investing in Ye Olde Carbooze Filling Station, a drive-through bar - Ronny was in jail for shoplifting cutout Kool and the Gang, Alabama, Jane Wiedlin and The Hooters cassettes from a Target. He was known as Story Man in jail – his stories prevented him from getting beat up.  (Mentioned July 27, 2004)

Con-Radio, The “Take Action Party” Political Convention, the VFW in Lowell, MA - Ronny calls from doing the announcements at a political convention for a nationwide prison and halfway house network.  Inmates can pick up the station on their ankle bracelets. Ronny met Presidential Candidate Bart Kazooski and Vice Presidential Candidate Blackie O’Bannion in jail. (July 27, 2004 call)

Anchorage, Alaska -  Dr. Dandy Dan Dannington of Swift Jocks for Truth mentions that "Ron the Don" Fuqua had the idea to put the Swift Jocks together.  Ronny told Dannington that Tom had tried to spank him (Mentioned October 12, 2004).

KSUB -  Ronny broadcasts from a submarine. (Mentioned December 21, 2004).

KernCo., 2nd stint - Ronny and Maurice Kern attempt to kill Tom with a deadly package. (December 21, 2004 call).

Alaska, DJing on a Crab Boat/Urinal Cake Cradle Repairman Writeup and background courtesy of Will K. and yesno - Ronny calls and offers to fill in for Tom.  He reveals that he has just finished DJing on a Crab Boat. After being fired from the Crab Boat job for being implicated in a man's death, he was at the time of the call working in the "transportation industry" doing U.C.C. repair (Urinal Cake Cradle repair) in the men's rooms of parking garages, which often required him to perform a U.C.R.M. (Urinal Cake Recon Mission). (August 23, 2005 call - Ronny's last on-show appearance to date)

FM 103, El Paso, Texas - Ronny is DJing as Ronald “Tex” Fuqua in El Paso.  Brian Hottenstein of Anything, Inc. reveals that Ronny has received $500,000 from an uncle who has recently died.  Ronny hired Anything, Inc. for $200,000 to design a photo shoot for Rolling Stone called “DJ Nation,” in which Ronny would brand “HRR” onto Tom’s buttocks.  The caption for the photo will read the caption for the picture will read: “Hot Rockin’ Ronnie Fuqua takes down another lame DJ: WUFM DJ, Tom “The Squid” Scharpling." (Mentioned August 15, 2006 – shout out to Omar and Recidivism.org for this summary)

Mayubinatorial candidate Bob references Tom’s ectoplasmic theft Hot Rockin’ Ronny’s spot - (Mentioned July 31, 2007 – shout out to Omar and Recidivism.org for this summary)

Mayubinatorial candidate Thor re-references Tom’s ectoplasmic theft Hot Rockin’ Ronny’s spot and says his first act as mayor will be to return HRR to his rightful spot - (Mentioned August 14, 2007)

DJ BJ Bryson is meeting his new co-host Ronald Fuqua at the end of his call on July 22, 2008. Fuqua, hearing mention of Tom's name, goes into the most obscene hand gesture that Bryson has ever seen - and Bryson knows obscenity.

Newbridge Comedy Award Winner Writeup Courtesy of Omar Tom's friend Darren revealed that HRR won "Funniest Radio Personality" at the Newbridge Comedy Awards, which were held on 1/30/15. The awards covered the entire Quint Cities region.  There was no mention of HRR's current radio home, but he appears to be back in the area.  Darren and Tom discussed HRR's claim that Tom stole his WFMU slot back in October 2000.  Tom continues to deny it, but Darren believes HRR.  He said that many people believe HRR at this point because he's been spouting the accusation for 15 years.
I really don't appreciate your sarcastic, anti-comedy tone, Bro!

pmuse

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2008, 11:01:56 PM »
In my hometown of Juneau, Alaska, there really is a local DJ called "Rockin' Ron".  Now he just goes by "Ron" though, cause the station he works for changed from Rock to Top 40.  It was a weird change because he had really played up the whole "Rockin'" part of his persona.  Don't know if he broadcasts out of a crab boat though.

Martin

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2008, 08:05:05 AM »
Great write-up, buffcoat!

Sarah

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2008, 08:29:15 AM »
Oddly enough, there's a DJ Ron in my life as well.  He's retired now but spent much of his career moving from ghastly town to ghastly town (the WKRP song had it right) and playing whatever music he was told to play.  Since he only actually likes opera and musicals, one would have thought he must have been in agony.  Not so, however:  the joy of knowing his voice was going out over the air was enough to sustain him.   (He really, really likes the sound of his own voice.)

moonshake

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2008, 07:57:09 PM »
WDLT, Duluth, MN -  Ronny gives out stickers to people entering the Civic Center.  He has recently been fired his job as “High Plains Harry” on the Early Early Show which runs from 3-6 AM in Fargo, ND.  Ronny was renting a house in Fargo from a rancher and “did something to his wife he didn’t like.”  Tom: “What?”  HRR: “I banged her.”  The rancher was friends with the station manager and got Ronny fired. (March 9, 2004 call)

That's the one where HRR repeatedly refers to WFMU as WFM-puke. Hilarious!
"You want me to recognize you and I won't. I won't acknowledge you! I deny you. So you keep begging and begging. The door is slammed on you. I want nothing to do with you. You will die unrecognized by me."
-Tom Scharpling

yesno

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2008, 10:10:07 PM »
Alaska, DJing on a Crab Boat - Ronny calls and offers to fill in for Tom.  He reveals that he has just finished DJing on a Crab Boat.  (August 23, 2005 call)


This call also revealed that Ronnie had been working as a urinal cake cradle repairman, while taking a breather from his DJ career.

Steve in North Hollywood

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2008, 09:48:22 AM »
Said it before, saying it again: There's "good."  Then there's "Buffcoat good!"
"I was in the shower and it occurred to me why the Hendersons named their guest "Harry."  That movie has layers!" ~ Jack Doneghy, 30 Rock.

joanna

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2008, 12:30:38 AM »
wow. wow! impressive.

kimota

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2008, 12:58:50 AM »
That is some mighty fine work, buffcoat!

Omar

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2009, 12:05:42 AM »
7/22/08:Tom's call with B.J. Bryson from N104-The Bridge

Bryson says that he has to roll in a second to pick up his new radio partner. He's at the Newbridge International Airport, where he spots Ronald Fuqua. Bryson tells Fuqua that he's talking to a kid named Tom Scharpling. Fuqua responds with a hand gesture that is the most obscene thing Bryson has ever seen, topping the Caligula stage show. Fuqua somehow managed to use both of his hands and was briefly bare-bottomed. Tom's heard enough. After witnessing this display, Bryson isn't sure he wants to be involved with Fuqua. He quickly realizes that he most certainly does. Bryson says that he and Fuqua are going to take Tom down. Tom didn't realized he was involved in a competition with the new N104 duo. Bryson believes that life is a competition. He refers to Tom as "son" while delivering this fiery retort. Bryson considers getting this bit of wisdom printed on the back of his Jockjack.

Tom says that if he's competing with a station that bridges old jazz and new country, more power to him. Bryson wishes for Tom to have less power, not that he has any power at all. He can tell that Tom's modulator is flipping hard. Tom loves the whole tradition of radio guys who get the lowest common denominator to act stupid at dumb rallies under the illusion that it's a major accomplishment. Bryson tells Tom not to slag the Zombies. Tom thinks it's insulting to even call them Zombies. Bryson says they love the term because they can't think for themselves. He tells them what to think, and he also tells Tom what to think. At this time he thinks Tom should think that he bites because he does bite. Tom wishes Bryson luck in dealing with Hot Rockin' Ronny's return to the Newbridge airwaves. Bryson says that HRR did the obscene gesture again, but this time his audience was a cop. He says he has to go bail him out. Bryson tells Tom that he bites and hangs up. Tom can only respond with the late-great Mel Allen's classic "How about that?!" catchphrase.
"Let's have a device-a-thon, just you and me." -- Montgomery Davies

buffcoat

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2010, 10:19:24 PM »
Addendum from the October 17, 2000 show:

Hot Rockin' Ronny calls in from a bus stop in Teaneck and asks Tom to play something from Bridges to Babylon, which Tom has never heard of.  He takes Tom to task for taking his time slot, which he held "off and on for 11 years."

HRR introduces the concept of Hot Rockin' Revenge.  He suggests changing the Best Show name to "Tom's Nonstop Chatter Show" and "120 Minutes of S Hit," instructing Tom to put the two parts of the last word together.  Ronny reveals that his lawyer is named Craig Craigler and threatens to sue Tom for verbal rape.

Ronny challenges Tom to a DJ-off and says he will throw his "new classic power rock" in Tom's face.

Ronny believes he is a better DJ because he plays the records hard - he plays them hotter and without compression.  He believes Tom couldn't handle the VU meter for the records he spins.  Ronny claims to be "The Original Hot Rockin' Rascal," which he has copyrighted, and calls Tom a "G-D CS," which he refuses to explain.

He notes that he will soon have a show on 91.1 and 1/2, which will be next to WFMU.

After accidentally referring to himself as "Hot Rockin' Roger," which neither Tom nor Ronny notices, Ronny shouts for the bus driver to wait and disconnects the call.
I really don't appreciate your sarcastic, anti-comedy tone, Bro!

buffcoat

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2012, 12:54:09 AM »
I just found that this page has been scraped by online identification services to create pages for US citizens "Dan Dannington" and "Ronald Fuqua."  Thanks, Internet!
I really don't appreciate your sarcastic, anti-comedy tone, Bro!

Paul DeLouisiana

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2012, 07:44:56 AM »
Jesus buffcoat, this is awesome. Way to assemble the puzzle!

thom

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2012, 06:50:08 PM »
I am filled with Hope that HRR will return.

Sashamak

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Re: The Radio Odyssey of Ronald Fuqua
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2012, 08:30:43 PM »
I'm surprise Ron hasn't started a podcast