Author Topic: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review  (Read 7076 times)

Spitzer

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Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« on: July 28, 2006, 12:42:50 AM »
Dear Tom,

Hands down, your show last week had the greatest review of any film I've ever heard. Beautifully spontaneous, yet perfectly executed vitriol and disgust on someone who is simply the worst film-maker alive. 'You did it, Smith...you got me in the theatre again.' I felt the EXACT same way...how did he do it? Hilarious.

The worlds cosmic and harmonic balance and order has now been restored by your review.


Godspeed,

Spitzer

B_Buster

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Re: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2006, 10:09:32 AM »
Tom's review was so great it got me thinking. Would it be possible to lay Tom Scharpling commentaries over the entire Smith oeuvre? These would be the best bootlegs ever! There must be a technical wizard out there who could pull this off.

Or maybe Tom could do a running commentary on air while he watches a Smith movie in the studio (sort of a variation on the historic Road House recreation).
See God, Kai

butler

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Re: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2006, 10:30:12 AM »
I'm a big fan of the original Clerks but this one was pretty lame. 

Not only wasn't it that funny but I felt like I was watching one of those early sound films from 1929 or so.  Except it was in color and the cast was alot less attractive. No sound effects, no extras, hardly any underscoring, static camera, sloppy editing. But back then they were learning how to make movies so they had an excuse. We know how to make movies now Smith! 

You know you're in pretty bad shape as a filmmaker when you're not even capable of recreating a fast food restaurant on screen.

And what was with all the Transformers references?  Did he write the script in 1982?

Some sites have started to do .mp3 commentaries.  Even though I like the early Smith films I would gladly pay for the privilege of hearing Tom tear them apart.

Omar

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Re: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2006, 01:19:23 PM »

And what was with all the Transformers references?  Did he write the script in 1982?


Cinematic master Michael Bay has a Transformers movie coming out in 2007, so Smith is just capturing the cultural zeitgeist, as usual.

Quote from: butler
Some sites have started to do .mp3 commentaries.  Even though I like the early Smith films I would gladly pay for the privilege of hearing Tom tear them apart.


Mike Nelson has such a site and his first offering is -- you guessed it -- Road House:

http://www.rifftrax.com/Html/Catalogue.html

It's time for the real MST3K: Mystery Scharpling Theater 3000!!
"Let's have a device-a-thon, just you and me." -- Montgomery Davies

Spike

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Re: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2006, 07:37:02 AM »
I saw this Kevin Smith on Henry Rollins' show on IFC last Saturday night. Just by listening to him, I am glad that I have the fortune of not seeing any of his films. Unfortunately, I missed Tom's rant.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2006, 10:13:38 PM by Spike »
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Spitzer

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Re: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2006, 11:55:34 AM »
Tom's review was so great it got me thinking. Would it be possible to lay Tom Scharpling commentaries over the entire Smith oeuvre? These would be the best bootlegs ever! There must be a technical wizard out there who could pull this off.

Or maybe Tom could do a running commentary on air while he watches a Smith movie in the studio (sort of a variation on the historic Road House recreation).

Thats a great idea, Mike...but would the toilet talk hijack the critique? I'm sure TS could solve it. By the way, your contributions last week were hilarious and fascinating. There was a moment when I was conflicted during Smith's acknowledgement of your diatribe against him on the net....it actually seemed like a cool thing to do! He celebrated someone who had a beef against him! I came so close to giving the guy props when you disclosed he included the B_Buster handle in one of his films.

But, a simple flashback to Clerks II put everything back in perspective. I coulda used that $10.75 to buy a delicious sandwich and a Dr. Pepper. Damn you, Smith!!!!

B_Buster

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Re: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2006, 11:54:56 PM »
Like I said, Spitzer, as a person I think Kevin is a good guy (I had even more respect for him after reading about his ordeal with Jason Mewes's drug addiction). But he continues to make terrible movies. I think he came to respect me because I was able to clearly articulate what I disliked about his movies (and do it in a humorous fashion). I didn't just call him names and say he sucked (which was sort of the norm on his web site at the time).
« Last Edit: July 30, 2006, 12:01:25 AM by B_Buster »
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Megan

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Re: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2006, 12:45:31 PM »
My friend Huffy told me about this yesterday -

http://www.netflix.com/Roadshow?id=5342

"expect one of Kevin's now legendary Q&A sessions before the screening of his '90s Indie classic"

If only it were an hour later, you could make this Q&A session a heck of a lot more legendary, Tom.  you + Kevin Smith + remote broadcast = high-larity.   

because i can be.

J W Buchanan

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Re: Kevin Smith/Clerks II review
« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2006, 02:07:36 PM »
My friend Huffy told me about this yesterday -

http://www.netflix.com/Roadshow?id=5342



I turned down doing the poster for this thing! We ended up doing one for Raising Arizona instead.

Now I see what a waste of an opportunity it really was. I could have made something really befitting Kevin Smith's genius.