My first call was during a prolonged episode of Coffin Talk. While I was on hold, the show spiraled into a discussion of drinking alone, and who was stupid.
My roommate, oddly enough, had not let me have a beer earlier (he'd come back from the store with 3 six-packs) so I threw him under the bus and told Tom that my roommate was standing between me and a cold one. Tom demanded to speak with him and told him to Shop For A Coffin. The roommate says "your friend hung up on me. He's weird."
I let Roommate have my Best Show Fun Pack t-shirt, since he's an avid Scarface fan and I wanted to be a good sport, but he took a look at it and said "they got the phrase wrong. It's 'Say Hello To My Little Friend."
Pearls to swine.