For nearly five hours I'd pounded the pavements of Hoboken, scouring the shops for seasonal gifts.
I finally reached home, kicking off my shoes and sinking into the sofa to rest my weary feet. I was quite pleased with myself, although I still had a few things to pick up I'd got most of my shopping done. I got a warm feeling as I imagined the smiling faces of all the children I'd bought gifts for as they opened them on Christmas morn'.
Not even the fact that I'd almost completely voided my coffers of cash could dent my self-satisfaction. An unfeasibly broad smile continued to bisect my face as I divested my pockets of receipts, a few crumpled singles and a handful of change.
What's this? Something wasn't right, I could sense it, feel it in my bones, in the very core of my being. On instinct alone the corners of my mouth began to head south and then - BANG - there it was like a punch in the gut, a filthy copper maple leaf staring at me like a dog's sphincter.
Who would do such a thing to me? Especially during this season of goodwill.
I racked my mind for suspects. Was it the insanely over-priced kids clothing store with the three figure romper suits or the ludicrously over-priced toy store that once sold nothing but traditional wooden toys (Christmas Treen - Ha!) but had now branched out into plastics in a desperate attempt at solvency.
I held the near-worthless copper disc in my hand as these hate-filled thoughts seared my synapses. I dropped it back on the table in disgust where it spun for a second before landing and, in an instant, all my hatred was dissipated and replaced with unimaginable joy. To think I had ever cursed the mysterious benefactor who had placed this numismatic talisman in my possession, for there, in all her splendour was an image of my own dear Queen.
"Merry Christmas Jason." her burnished cameo seemed to say to me.
"And a merry Chritsmas to you your majesty," I said, psychically. "God bless you ma'am."
And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!
