I hate when people say "Nutricious" just becuase it rhymes with "delicious"
When someone says someone else is "on crack"
When people say "just kidding" right after being proven wrong for something.
"Lunch" when it's said suggestively (with up and down eyebrows especially)
I was at Whole Foods the other day. I just got my wisdom teeth removed and I had to eat soft foods, and I was like "Screw it, I know it's overpriced, but I'm having a bunch of hot mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese from whole foods cause they'll actually use potatoes and I'm hungry." Well, I didn't expect that they'd raised the hot food price to effing 7.95 per pound, so those two items plus some mushroom casserole thing in the little box plus a water equaled 18 dollars and I was like "jesus!" and the checkout guy was relatively sympathetic and then some unsuspecting bag-girl came over and was like "You want that in a bag" and I had just told the dude I was eating it here (restaurant tax in CA for that, btw!) and I was just like "uh, No." in this sort of half-infuriated tone and she said, in the quietest voice ever, "just kidding". And I thought "That's a weird thing to say". And then out loud the clerk said "Yeah, we charge you for the bag too!" Ah, he's a mensch.
Oh yeah, how about "And things like this" where it used to be fine to say "and things like that" or, even more pleeb!--"and stuff like that". I feel like this "...things like this" is some weird attempt at Eurofying regular Ameri-talk. Like I always hear upscale arty types saying this and it's like they're emulating the speach patterns of a Frenchman who hasn't mastered the art of the English language yet, and whose overcompensating by fancifying it. I would also venture to say that saying "...and things like that" when referring to a number of different things is more grammatically correct than saying "...and things like this" in that instance. It's like:
We ate popcorn, peanuts, walnuts, and things like that.
vs.
We ate caviar, lobster tail, foie gras, and things like this.
That second one is like... what thing? Like they list things they ate and then they must have another thing in their hand that they're not letting you see. Like they should say "And things like THIS" and pull out a Boar's Head or a white bunny rabbit or something.