Dear Mr. F. Tompkins,
Thank you for being amazingly funny, and far nicer than your talent obligates you to be. I'm sorry I missed your Brooklyn show, but I did have a baby a day or two later. Next time I see you, I will be sure to tell you how amazing fatherhood is, a sentiment that I am sure is totally unique to me and which no one else has shared with you.
Please come back to Brooklyn soon.
Sincerely yours,
Shaggy 2 Grote