A lot of industry insiders and Las Vegas high-rollers have privately contacted me and asked me whether I was going to make a prediction this year after having previously, correctly predicted the outcome of all 21 of the Undertaker's previous matches, including last year, when he shocked the world by losing to The Beast Incarnate Brock Lesnar, breaking The Streak and capping the Double Decades of Destruction by finally, fatally putting the 1 in 21-1.
But I told them all the same thing: why bother? The Undertaker is a joke. He is a failure. This year marks the 25th Anniversary of the debut of the Dead Man, the supernatural entity who spent just under a quarter of a century conning us into calling him "The Phenom". All those years, all those appearances at The Showcase of the Immortals defeating such luminaries as The Master And The Ruler Of The World Sycho Sid, The Devil's Favorite Demon Kane, The Legend Killer and Apex Predator Randy Orton, The Showstopper and Mister Wrestlemania Himself The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels, The World's Strongest Man and Founder of The Hall of Pain Mark Henry, The Straight-Edge Savior C.M. Punk...
And it was all for nothing. He lost. 21-1? Who cares. He was a fraud. 21-1? He could have gone 1-21 and it would have the same meaning now. A man both cursed and blessed with supernatural abilities beyond our ken that he failed to use to preserve the one important thing in this diseased world and in the process, insulted the towering legacies of those 17 men (and Giant Gonzales, who may have been a yeti, and Damien, Jake the Snake Robert's snake, who was a snake). It sickens me. I don't care now. I don't care if he can save his immortal soul by returning, devoid of his mystical powers, to defeat The Eater of Worlds Bray Wyatt.
It means nothing, just like those other 22 matches - once generally agreed upon as the greatest collection of sporting performances in human history - now mean nothing.
Anyway, yeah, he wins this year.
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